Chasing Ambulances

I have had to hire an attorney recently.

I thought I'd have to hire a second attorney, for a completely separate reason from the first attorney.

I have an attorney back in Texas that I hired for business & real estate reasons.

I have had several phone conversations with at least three or four other attorneys.

Oh yeah, and I work for attorneys. But none of the attorneys above were ones that I work with.

How the hell did I ever get to THIS place???

So, when I saw a television ad for a Chicago law firm that specializes in personal injury law (read: ambulance chasers) I mostly ignored it. There are a lot of those commercials, after all.

I ignored it until the final moments when they put a slide up with their contact information. When I read it, I had the strangest mix of laughter and disgust that I think I've ever felt.

Laughter: The firm's name is "VanPopering Law Offices." I couldn't help but see an extra "o" in the name "VanPopering." And that was funny.

Disgust: Their phone number - 1-800-S.O.S-HURT

That phone number, for me, encapsulates the whole ambulance chasing world: Revving up the litigation world; Litigating everything under the sun; Preying on hurt people; Driving up medical costs; Feeding the disgusting lack of responsibility that people take for their own health.

Do these kinds of attorneys actually help people (besides themselves)?

So, to ameliorate my disgust, I tried to turn it to funny. I put their phone number digits into http://www.phonespell.org and found some better ways to spell out that number:

1. 800-POP-GURU
2. 800-POP-GUST
3. 800-SO-PITS-8
4. 800-SO-PIUS-8

F*cking ambulance chasers . . .

Texas Contrasts

The inspiration for this entry comes from a comment that Rob made to me during our trip to Texas last week.

When you are in Texas, near one of the major cities, you don't have to drive very far before you're in The Country. It is not uncommon to have the skyline of Houston/Dallas/San Antonio in view just a few miles away, as you try to pass an enormous combine on a two-lane farm-to-market road. After you pass that combine/herd of cattle/horse trailer/tractor you're just as likely to turn onto a highway - with cars buzzing by at 80 mph - as you are to turn onto a dirt road leading to the most beautiful bucolic scene you've ever seen.

It is the combination of skyscrapers, flat land, wide open spaces, and ubiquitous ranch land that makes this contrast possible, I'd say. There may be other places in the world where similar combinations produce such contrasts, but when I think of major U.S. cities that have skyscrapers and skylines, I can't think of many (any) which have a combination that brings rural and urban trappings so close. And as for non-U.S. cities, I've only seen a few of them, and not many of them have these particular contrasts. It is definitely one of the things that I cherish about my relationship with Texas.

Texas. To a mid-westerner, "Texas" evokes stereotypical imagery and compels people to try to talk funny. But, to me, after spending half of my life there, thoughts of Texas just make me smile.