watershed

Yesterday was a watershed day in my quest to get my ass out of this town and into Portland, Oregon. I'm actually a little surprised, in some ways, that I've not made any entries here related to Portland - it's been on my mind for a couple of years. But it was only this year, sometime, when I realized that James and Chris were really not interested in moving there, that I began working to make this a reality.

Originally, in 2002, I visited Portland for the International Barbershop Convention. When I left, I was convinced that I had to move there sometime. I convinced Chris and James that they needed to move there with me. And after a trip there with them after Christmas, 2002, they seemed convinced, as well.

We took another trip there after Christmas, 2003, during which it snowed an unseasonably large amount of snow. I loved it. Portland could barely handle it. And C&J whined. We got out of Portland just a day or so before another storm dumped another huge amount of snow there and shut down the airport.

Not too long after that, I realized that not only were C&J not interested in moving there - James wussed-out because of the portential for non-sunny weather - but also their job paths were going to take them wherever it chose. That realization freed me to persue getting to Portland on my own timetable.

So, I have been job hunting and so forth. But yesterday during lunch with Joe Barron, I decided (with his help) that I will move to Portland during the summer of 2005 - unless a job pops up that requires me to be there earlier than that.

See, from July until now I have been job hunting via the web: Monster.com, dice.com and so on. I have had only a couple of interesting possibilites respond to me; but nothing more. It's going a bit slower than I'd anticipated. Perhaps it is because I'm not in Portland already; perhaps it's because I'd need a couple months of time before I could start work; and perhaps there are other reasons. Yesterday's watershed moment came about because my goals for work, life and finances have had a significant shift since I started this job hunt.

I'd already had an interest in getting into real estate as an investment - and as a job. But after reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad, at Rob's suggestion, my goal is financial freedom. Real estate should play a big part of that. So I have been thinking of this move also in terms of being the start of a new life: one in which my understanding of money in my life has undergone a significant paradigm shift. The shift means that the kind of job I land is much less important.

Well, at lunch, Joe and I talked about playing it safe versus taking the risks necessary to reap big rewards. Since educated risk-taking is a big part of what Rich Dad, Poor Dad is all about, and I am ready to embark on that course, it began to dawn on me that I could also risk moving to Portland without a job lined-up.

The idea is that after selling my house here and selling the truck, I would have money to invest in real estate (from the house) and money from the car to buy some cheap, reliable transportation, with the rest of the monies there to live on for a little while. If I buy a duplex or fourplex or some such property in which I can live and rent, I'd just need enough money to pay the rest of the bills. I hope that I'd have enough money to acquire at least two properties quickly.

It's risky. It's unlike the me that I know. It's what I've been looking for.

The idea of putting me completely out of my element is appealing. I've been living a very safe life to date. Very few significant risks. And I am getting exactly out of life what a non-risk-taker would get - a calm, debt-laden, easy existence. So, it's time to change.

I'm scared. Well... excited and scared...

confrontation

I've had a week (or so) to stew over the boss situation. The last couple of entries I created, although crudely written, document some of what I was feeling and thinking in the passion of the moment. Later on, as expected, I came up with some new "thinks" that are useful.

Driving to the airport (IAH) on Thanksgiving day gave me the opportunity to think. I felt that I needed to do something. After all, the work environment has this pernicious problem because of the boss that someone needs to say something to someone. And for the last few months, I thought that I should talk to Wayne about the environment that's been created because of Ken: resentment for his micromanagement and anger at some of the administrative/bossy decisions he has made.

I feel that I'm the right one to bring this up because I feel like I've got nothing to lose. I don't think that anything I say is going to jeopardize my employment here - I know what it takes to get someone fired. I also am confident that folks around here want me to continue to be happy... They feel dependant on me for computer-related things and probably figure that being on my "bad side" would be quite detrimental to their work-life.

I can see how I'd be less inclined to go out of my way to help someone here at whom I was pissed off [or should that be, "off at whom I was pissed?"].

So, I thought about what it would be like to bring this stuff up with Wayne. I could envision him asking me if I'd brought this up with Ken. If my answer was, "no," I feel that he'd want me to go to him, first. Wayne likes to avoid personnel confrontations - and he'd be well within his right to redirect me. After all, I don't think I could really convince anyone that I felt that my job would be in jeopardy if I went to Ken, directly. So, this pretty much leaves a direct confrontation as the means to air this shit. I also am inspired by thinking about how Rob would deal with this, since he's a lot more confrontative (?) than I am. Of course, he'd go directly to Ken and growl at him...

So, I'm preparing myself. Trying to get my thoughts distilled down to the nuggets of truth here. I spend some time envisioning the scenario with me coming into the office and asking him if he has a moment to discuss something that's been troubling me. And so on.

I will do this. I feel very strongly that I must do this. And I know it's going to turn out better if for no other reason than I no longer keep the thoughts inside or in the realm of employee griping.