somewhere between "fuck you" and "I don't give a fuck"

With today containing the latest installment of "fuck you, boss" attitude in me, inspired by the boss's latest time-jab, I find myself in an odd, but not unusual, mental state. A good part of me doesn't care one little bit about the time issues that the boss continues to bring up. That same part of me will absolutely not agree with me changing my time management in response to him. It is the same part which cannot sympathize with his legalistic approach to this. That part of me says, "I don't give a fuck."

Yet, I still get frustrated and pissed-off whenever a new scene in this act unfolds. I'm not absolutely sure what about this actually pisses me off. I think that it is mostly that this asshole has this bit of power over me. It's interesting that my work existence here is, for the most part, based on self-motivation by me. A large part of my work is stuff that I think of and then implement. A smaller part is driven by events around the station: a computer that needs help now; a special conference or other video event that needs me to do something to make it happen.

How much of what I do needs Ken's intervention? How much of what I do needs him to assign a task to me? Very little. I'd say that it's on the order of 5% of the tasks that I do. He's not really in a position to know what to tell me to do. He just doesn't know what things are really necessary for me to be involved in; nor does he know what things should be done - what should be invented. Those kind of tasks and that kind of thinking, in my part of this operation, are not things that he really knows much about. And that is self-admitted.

So, since I don't need him in order for my job to get done, I resent this little bit of administrative power that he wields over me, much like a pissed off child will lash out with whatever tools s/he has at her/his disposal when s/he feels powerless and put-upon. Yes, this administrative stuff is his responsibility as my supervisor; and he has the right to choose to rule in this manner. But my response is always the same: resentment and a "fuck off, boss" attitude.

So I find myself between 'fuck you' and 'I don't give a fuck' pretty regularly. I keep reminding myself that I am leaving this job soon; that the boss's complaining will go no further than his office (though it might find its way to my annual review); that this is a wee irritation between the two of us. Even if it does make it to my annual review, there is almost no possibility that it will be read by anyone besides the chain-of-command above me, here; and they'll probably just think about Ken the same thing that I think about him for being so picky.

And yet...

... I still get pissed off about it.

Although, I think I'm getting better. In his office, this morning, when the latest "transaction" came through, I pretty much knew what was coming and didn't feel the least bit of anything besides boredom.